Curious and Curiouser

snow-night

I don’t know what’s gotten into me lately, but whatever it is, I hope that I can get rid of it soon, because it’s very annoying. For some reason I can’t comprehend, I’ve often felt worried by the prospects of going for a run over the past few weeks. It’s pretty unlike me to fret about things in the first place, and this is just silly, because I absolutely love my runs. The “normal” me can’t wait to lace up her trainers.

I really don’t know what’s behind this, but when I glance at my training schedule I often find myself thinking: “Oh gosh, that’s going to be hard.” Or worse: “I wonder if I can complete this at all.” Unfortunately, these thoughts have sometimes made it harder to put on my running shoes and taking that first step out of the front door had, at times, be accompanied by a defty dose of mental-kicking-of-my-own-bottom.

I could understand these sentiments if my running wasn’t going well, if I was burned out or unwell or just generally struggling with my energy levels. However, nothing could be further from the truth; once I’m on the run, all the worries melt away instantly. My runs have been fantastic lately, and I’ve felt full or energy and ready to enjoy my freedom in the world. Moreover, all my specific workouts have also gone wonderfully well and according to plan – the whole lot of them have been nothing but pleasantly challenging and I finished them with a big smile on my face.

So what is going on? Why do I, in between my runs, seem to forget that I genuinely relish every single one of these runs?

Has anyone else ever felt this way? I’d love to know what’s behind this slump in motivation between my runs, so I can kick it out the front door instead of having to drag myself out through it day in, day out. I wonder if it’s just old man winter clouding over my enthusiasm, as I’ve come to a point where I really can’t wait for spring to make an appearance; not just to brighten up my runs, but my days in general…

Having said that about winter, I should also mention that I have just returned from a wicked trail run in the snow. The conditions were terrible by anyone’s standard – which meant that the run was awesome, of course!

At least I’m still moving forward (and loving it!).

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14 thoughts on “Curious and Curiouser

  1. Sam says:

    I find sometimes I put it off, and put it off, and spend the first 15 minutes in a negative funk, but it passes eventually!

    • Thank you for stopping by and for the comment! The mind is certainly a strange place. 😉 I usually love my runs after the first 5 minutes, as soon as the endorphins kick in I’m flying. I just don’t understand why, as of late, I’ve not been looking forward to my runs like I usually do. Once I’m running, everything is dandy!

  2. Lily says:

    I get like this too, and luckily it passes as well a few minutes into the run. And if it’s tough at first I always think to myself, never judge a run by the first mile. Then I’m good. Maybe next time you feel like this, immediately read your last blog post; I know it made me excited for my next run!

    • Thank you Lily! I’m glad that my last post inspired you to run – it was a wonderful run. When you are over here, we can run the route together if you like! 😉 I think I’ll try using my running diary to remind me of the great runs I’ve had when I start to feel doubtful about going out again. I’m quite old-fashioned that way and still keep a pen and paper diary of all my runs – I love it and might as well put it to some good use. It’s common to find the start of the run the hardest (it’s even called the “toxic twenty”), but the thing with me is that, lately, I’ve spent a lot of energy unneccessarily worrying about my runs. I’m hoping that spring will cure me of this silly affliction! 😉

      • Lily says:

        I would love that! Yes, I’m sure it’s just the weather and that worried feeling will disappear soon. Last year the start of the run was almost always the toughest for me, but now only one out of about 15 runs feels tough at the beginning, and I love that progress!

      • Let’s do it then, when you are here we’ll run the coastal path! =) I agree that it’s lovely when running gets easier, and it’s great that you notice it, too! I’m sure it’s just the weather too – although the days are already getting noticeably longer, the weather itself has definitely taken a turn for the worse – it’s grey and raining/snowing almost every day here. I’m still running in all conditions, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t long for the sunshine!

  3. Jim Brennan says:

    Well, I don’t think it’s that unusual. It’s not realistic to expect to be “up” all of the time. Sometimes you need to back off, other times you have to push through it. Try a new route, different environment, a long slow run, or grab a buddy. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you will get through it, Fullmonrunner.

    • Hey Jim, thank you for the encouraging words. It’s just weird because I’ve never felt this way. But then again, I’ve never run through the winter quiet as hard as I have this time around. I think it’s just the general “meh” feeling of winter getting to me – up here in Scotland, we don’t have my daylight in the winter and it does tend to zap my energy. At least the end is in sight! 😉

  4. Joey says:

    Everyone experiences this and not just with running. The first step is always the hardest. Just remembering the amazing feelings should be enough to get you out there

    • Hey Joey, and thank you! I’ll just have to keep reminding myself that I do love my runs – even if it doesn’t feel like it in between at the moment. It’s just strange and not like me to feel this way. By the way, I’m going to take your advice on the long runs for the ultra training and not make them too stupidly long. Instead, I’m aiming for a solid number of marathon-length trail runs in preparation. Thank you for that! 😉

  5. I periodically go through those kinds for feelings. So,sties it’s when I am working really hard, and I think sometimes the mind is sensing the body could use a little break? It usually passes though.

    • Thank you! I hope it’ll just pass too. I’d agree that I’d need a rest if I was actually struggling on the runs themselves, but as it is, the runs are going wonderfully well. That’s what’s so strange about it. It’s just a shame to “waste” some of my energy fretting about runs when there is absolutely no need to do so!

  6. TartanJogger says:

    That’s really rubbish- I hope you’re able to shift it soon!
    BTW- heading to civilisation this weekend, so hoping to pick up an MP3 while I’m near big shops! 😀

    • Hey, and thanks! I’m really looking forward to the music swap, that’ll be good fun! I just keep telling reminding myself how much I love the runs once I’m going, and I’m sure that the sunshine (when it makes an appearance) will make all the difference!

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