That Happy Place

My happy place is a wonderful place to be; everything is fluffy and warm there and the sun always shines. It’s the place where I go to in my head when life hands me lemons and the juicer is broken. Yesterday, I spent the better part of 1 hour and 44 minutes hanging out there while running the St. Andrews Half Marathon.

My single biggest mistake was lining up at the start in the first place. You see, I had registered for the race many months ago, long before I started to go steady with this ultramarathon beast. It just so happened that I did a 24 mile trail training run the day before running the St. Andrews Half Marathon.

But because I clearly have an affinity for acts of futility and because my legs were feeling alright, I decided to make my way to the start line regardless and see what happens. After all, if I didn’t try this, how would I ever know whether or not a 5 hour trail run the day before is a winning strategy for an endurance race?

The event itself was complete chaos*; the whole thing was so poorly organised it had blasted right through the borders of the land of ridiculousness and had settled somewhere in the world of great entertainment value. With this being a local race, there were many familiar faces and we shared many a giggle about the latest race day calamity. But really, when has a little mayhem and complete disregard for basic health and safety ever been able to eclipse the fun of running with good friends and being cheered on by others?

My legs continued to feel pretty good as I was busy running my laps and going loopy on the beach in St. Andrews. However and predictably, after blowing all my fuel on the trails the day before, there was nothing in the tank for me to run on. There was no power in the engine, and when I commanded my legs to turn over a little faster shortly after the half-way point, they simply handed over their P45s.

I was bonking pretty hard, and the water station’s untimely demise also put an end to my chances of wolfing down an energy gel. Physically, I was totally spent and running on empty.

But mentally, interesting things were starting to happen. I’d like to say that I have experiencing something akin to an epiphany, but I wouldn’t rule out exhaustion-induced hallucinations either. Mentally, I felt strong – while there was none of the joy usually associated with running, I did feel a quiet determination in my mind to win the battle against the empty tank and disobedient legs. I thought a lot about the ultra challenge ahead, and what it really means to run an endurance race. I have accepted that the whole essence of endurance is that things will get tough and uncomfortable, and that I have to learn to keep going regardless. And that’s precisely what I am training for. With that in mind, I simply embraced the run for what it was – a valuable experience – and told myself that all I had to do was to keep going.

But then all these stubborn and inconsequential thoughts about training made way to a much more important and meaningful realisation. I suddenly thought about all of those people who can’t do what I’m doing. My thoughts turned to loved ones who are no longer with me. I thought about friends and family who are battling devastating illnesses and are fighting every day for the energy to make it through the day. Then I thought about my injured running friends. And that’s when I realised how lucky I am. I didn’t have to keep going – I was able to keep going. I am able to run, and in that moment that was the greatest privilege of them all.

Of course the official times for the race aren’t published yet, and I’m not holding my breath for any remotely meaningful information to ever be released. My sportswatch informed me that I crossed the finish line after 1:44 and that the course was 21.78 km in length. Physically, it was one of the hardest runs I have ever gutted out. I’m so glad that I did it though, because I have learned something very important. This particular run has made me fully realise that it’s gratitude that brings me happiness.

St. Andrews Half

 (A tired, but happy me arriving at – or near – the finish line)


The organisation of the St. Andrews Half Marathon was very reliable and consistent: the organisers unfailingly messed up on virtually all aspects of the racing experience. Personal favourites included several changes to the start time and route in the days leading up to the event, and the fact that the start line was still being assembled when the official start time came and went. We did eventually start by running into a field of parked cars and then the route took us straight into oncoming traffic. There were a total of three marshals on the entire route and the aid station promptly ran out of water.

The half marathon route was changed more times that I can shake a stick at, and on the day it involved running four laps of the 5km route, which actually turned out to be close to 22 km in length. That’s if you actually ran four laps of the course, because nobody was counting. Really, I couldn’t make this up. I felt so sorry for the first time runners. At the end of the day, I’m just really happy that nobody came to any harm.

23 thoughts on “That Happy Place

  1. piratebobcat says:

    Congrats! I bet it was a beautiful place to run!

    • It is! St. Andrews is a lovely place and there are many great places to run in and around the town. =) We ran on the famous beach where the iconic running scene from “Chariots of Fire” was filmed.

      • piratebobcat says:

        Oh wow, very cool! I remember visiting my friend in Edinburgh a few times and from the castle we could see off towards St Andrews. She told me about that beach. Next time I come back…..

      • There’s a long distance path running the whole length of the coastline of this county, which is really varied and beautiful. Next time, when you come back, make sure you give me a shout and we can run in all of those places together!

  2. Angie says:

    That’s a more than respectable time to run a nearly 22km race the day after running 40km. You should be well set to run your ultra. I always like to remind myself that running is a privilege and try not to take it for granted (because I sure miss it when I can’t run).

    • Thank you Angie! I think it’s a great attitude to have about running – it really is a privilege that we get to do it and I’m going to try and remember that in future when I want to moan about it. 😉 I’m happy with the run and it certainly was a killer back-to-back run in preparation for the ultra. 10 weeks to go now!

  3. theblogrunner says:

    Oh dear. Sounds like a crazy day, but a good experience nonetheless. Mental training is so important for an ultra so it sounds like you’re doing well in that respect. Well done for getting through it and staying positive. 🙂

  4. Lily says:

    I love your race recaps, and this race sounds utterly ridiculous. Great job sticking it out and running it after that long trail run!

    • Thank you, Lily! It was all pretty silly – it didn’t bother me that much, I still got a lot out of it personally. But I did feel really bad for the first timers…

  5. Trails and Ultras says:

    The race sounds a bit mad…I agree, what a poor experience for first time racers. Such a shame. It seems like you still got a lot out of it though: don’t they say every run is a learning experience?

  6. Amy says:

    Nice job! This will be a good race to look back on when you’re at a tough part in your ultra. You can say to yourself, “If I could tough it out then, I can do it now.”

    • I hope so too, Amy! I’m also really happy that my legs felt so strong after all the running the day before. I’m getting there with the ultra-readiness…

  7. I can’t believe you did so well after that. And what a crappy race! Sounds like it was a disaster!

    • Hey Courtney! From an organisational point of view, it really was a disaster on all fronts. But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t get a lot out of it personally. I still had a good time of sorts! 😉

  8. pugrunaholic says:

    Congrats on getting through that tough run! 🙂 I think you did an awesome job!

  9. Great post. A shame about the organisation but it sounds like you’re well on track for your ultra!

  10. Kenny says:

    Good post.Great achievement given your run the day before. Glad someone else thought the race was chaos. The sand part x 4 was tough especially rejoining the road. I heard the distance was suspect. I had planned a sub 1:50 time but could only mamage 1:52:44. I was born in St Andrews and travelled up from Glasgow to compete. Take care.

    • Ugh, it’s a shame that you travelled for this race, you must have been so disappointed… =( The race was so terrible, it was described as a “farce” on the front page of the newspaper the next day. The distance was definitely quite a bit longer than 21.1, so you might well have actually run sub 1:50. I don’t know if you are aware of this, but there’s another race that is held on the West Sands on June 1st. It’s by completely different organisers, and this race is always superb. If you want to do a St. Andrews race, that’s the one to do. You even get fudge doughnuts at the end. 😉

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